Hokayyy... I know I know.. It's been more than a month since I last visited my blog. Well, if any of you have read the last post, yeps, I was extremely nervous counting on the days to the D-Day - engagement.
The preparations, energy, effort, thoughts, time and money - you have no idea what my family, fiance and myself have gone through. Yeah.. it was the pre-wedding.. but, the process wasn't just a piece of cake.
Well, I am very much grateful to have a very supportive mother, fiance and best friends who have helped me a lot throughout the process. Alhamdulillah. I laughed, joked, drown in tears in between of the journey. God knows why. Now I know how it feels, preparing for my own big day. I thought it's all about being beautiful, taking pictures and having fun all the way. It was beyond the idea.
Alhamdulillah... the ceremony went well. As the event began at 11am, I began my make-up as early as 8.45am. I didn't really get a beauty sleep a night before as I only dozed off by 3am. Gotten about 4 hours of sleep. The anxiety just kept pushing it.
Got up at 7ish as my make-up artiste was on her way.. yeah, that early. She was afraid if she couldn't find her way. She got here by 7.30am and was served with an early brekkie. Then, we began the make-me-look-gorgeous process.
I got a beep text - saying he was on his way. I got friggin' nervous as if my heartbeat went on silent. Nak terberak pon ade. 15 minutes later, another text beeping on my cell says "We've arrived..". I immediately gotten a cold sweat through my palms. My goodness. I had no idea what to tell ya.. I couldn't speak a word.. I couldn't wet my lips with my tongue and..even worse, I couldn't even taste my own saliva.
Immediately, my make-up artiste had placed a very beautiful veil on the edge of my hair bun. I was almost ready to go. I never thought I'd be in that dress.. on my birthday.
..My sister in law came up and called me to get ready. My bestfriends and I managed to grab some shots minutes before I went down. It killed my nervousness - a lil bit. The moment I had to walk down the stairs, I have thought about how graceful I should be in this dress and did not ever wanna kill it. I walked down gracefully and 'tried' my hardest to stay gorgeous though I was on a battle with my nervousness.
The moment I stepped down the last step, the space went silent. I could feel the pressure attacking me - as everyone in the space was looking right at me. Ya ya ya.. I know how gorgeous I am.. so chill! LOL.
But yeah.. I had to walk pass everyone. The moment I reached my mini dais, I didn't know what to do. I had no idea how to sit on it with my long-ass dress. My SIL helped me a lil by holding my hand bouquet and placing my dress tail appropriately. GAWD, I was at the center of the attention. I hated it.
The ceremony got even more excited as I was finally seated. My future MIL walked towards the dais and seated next to me to place the ring on my finger. Hamaigad... I was like... I am now TAKEN???? Like seriously dude??? No more looking? No more flirting..?? Hell yeah no more all that...
Anyways, once the ring got onto my finger, it gave me a lil sugar rush. I got very excited. Later after that, I had the salam session with all the guests, mostly my cousins, my future cousins and friends.
Then, I saw my boyfriend right in front of the hall.. *clearing throat*.. nooo, my fiance now... *phew*. It just felt so different. I look at him in a different way now. I've got much respect, love, responsibility and passion towards him - way much more than before. I don't know. It came naturally. I just feel secured and appreciated though.
So, the ceremony ended with photo opps mostly. We had our own photos session for the album. It was a hell of fun. Can't wait till the full album is completed.
Above all of this, I must admit that, getting engaged was one of the biggest steps in my life that I've ever decided on. If I ain't sure about it, I won't be here tonight writing this blog, expressing and sharing. But, come to think about it again... I can't believe that I am someone's fiancee now. It happened so quickly. Yeps, this is it. It's him. It's him whom I'm gonna marry and live with for the rest of my life - Insyallah. Till death do us apart.
I'm glad I have finally found the ONE who truly be able to love, accept, appreciate, understand and embrace me. It ain't that piece of cake to find the one who can be with you the way you do. I've gone through many unsuccessful relationships and I am grateful to experience all of that craps before I met the ONE. It made me who I am the way I am today. I see myself being with no one else but him. My fear is not about loving him less, my fear is not being able to live with him long enough to prove how much love I have for him.
Dear sayang, thank you for taking me this far. I am willing to walk this journey with you, till death do us part. I hope I will be able to be an amazing-responsible-loving wife and mother to you and our kids. Guide, hold and love me till the end, sayang. I wanna fall in love with you everyday. I love you with all my heart, sincerely.
To you, who have captured my heart well, you've made me the luckiest woman on earth.
No comments:
Post a Comment