Four

Am counting on the days till Saturday, Feb 4th. It is not going to be only my birthday but it'll be the day that I'll remember. It'll be a brand new experience and challenge. It will be a lot of fun it seems.

Can't wait till Saturday. However, I've been experiencing anxiety issues, lately. Probably because it won't be something that I get to experience/go through everyday.

In 4 days, things will be magnificent! Hopefully, everything will turn out to be as what I've imagined!
Very excited to see most of my beloved friends on that day!

Till then, see you guys!

It's a choice

I did not get a chance to update my blog for a week or so since the last time I wrote. I have been swamped with work and daily routines. Things are pretty in places at the moment, I must admit. Thank you Allah SWT for His blessing in ensuring everything is going smoothly.

I got to grab some stuffs here and there to complete the important list. Yups. I figured, they're almost complete. Just waiting for the entire reservation to be delivered :)

At times, it annoys the hell outta me to be able to think of every tiny lil things in finding/deciding on things e.g theme, flowers, decorations, even the color of the carpet. Now I know why do people tend to say, "Very exciting but... tiring as hell. You'll get massive headache too!" - something like that.

I've been having fun in preparing my own ceremony. It's just, I learn throughout the process. I get upset easily lately. I have no idea how did I develop the trait. It's not positive I must say. Getting others involved in deciding things for the e-day does welcome emotional disturbance.

I am going with the flow as the days go by. I am very excited but... definitely nervous at the same time. I see things in my head clearly how's the day going to be. I'm hoping for the day to turn out way better than I have imagined. People tend to say, "This will happen, once. It's a choice".

Can't wait. I'll write again soon.
Sharing is a priceless action.

One of the inevitable wishes ;)

The Knot

Nothing major but just feel like sharing the incredible news. This happened almost 2 weeks ago. I should've updated this together with "The Unthinkable Tragedy" post but... it took me 2 weeks (today) to get myself back on track with my blog :)

So, all of us (cousins) used to play around with him since we were all about the same age. We grew up together pretty close since we had not many younger cousins.
Now, Syukur is someone's husband and definitely holding up to huge responsibilities. We are all going to go through the same thing. Unless, if you are to declare yourself as a lesbian or gay. Your call :)

We enjoyed the wedding pretty much though the atmosphere was very hectic and congested with the guests. I managed to grab some good shots - just playing with the button :)

Wishing all the happiness in the world for the both of you.
I'll be joining the club soon, guys! :)

The Unthinkable Tragedy

Saturday January 14, 2012 - My family and I drove back to Penang for a wedding. We were all excited to make it to the wedding, knowing that almost every cousin will be there. My uncle from Kemaman has been at my house since Thursday - heading to Penang together.

To begin the story, we left the house at 6.45am on Saturday. The morning was still early to me - to begin driving *yawn*. The traffic was alright since it was an ordinary weekend for most of the people. I doubt people have started their CNY journey.

We got to Penang at 11.30am after a couple of breaks in between the journey. We stopped by twice at R & R for snacks and gas. We got to change before heading to the wedding by noon. The wedding was incredibly fun despite the hall was frigging "boiling" our asses off. O well. We took photos with cousins, bride and groom. Everyone had fun. The food was delicious too.

We left at almost 3ish. We got home to where we stayed for the weekend. Our plan was to head to the Gurney Drive at night. Mum, brother, sis-in-law, aunt and myself went to Tesco for a lil bit to grab some stuff. On a little note, Mum did mention that she left her cell at home.

We got back from Tesco and dad was saying that my maid has been calling mum's cell for 4 times. Since mum was unreachable, maid had to call my other aunt.

My aunt was in shock, telling us the news that came to her. Maid was in panic.

Mum was talking to our maid. Asking every details. I had goosebumps whilst mum talking to her. I imagined the most terrible incident that could happen.

My heartbeat was running faster. I could feel the choke somewhere near my throat.

According to my maid, most of my cats refused to "dine-in" that late afternoon. She wonder, really. None of them approached the house as usual. Later after that, my maid had to force three of them to go in by getting each of them accordingly. She then locked the door as usual. With a huge curiosity and suspense, she took a sit somewhere near the cats' house to see if more of them coming back. All of them remain away from the house. My maid got curious even more.

The next door neighbor maid, Tik, came to help, see what went wrong. They both were checking out the house all around it. My maid then saw one of my cats, Cheesy, went up to the small cage inside the house. Cheesy was looking up curiously and positively looking very fearful. Both maids then went around to the other corner and discovered a Python in there. In other name, it's called Python neticulatus @ Ular Sawa Batik. They both were screaming and got even more panic. My maid went to ask for an urgent help from the security at the guard house in my neighborhood.


As we were all on our way to dinner, I gave my other half a call, informing him what happened. He then rushed to my house. He kept me posted on every single details. An hour later, the guys from Jabatan Perhilitan came to "rescue" the python. It was actually curling up at one corner, high up, looking super lazy. My maid did not realize that it has been there probably since noon on Saturday. At that very moment, she then realized the MAIN reason why most of my cats did not wanna go in. THAT'S WHY!

Mum did ask if there's any of my cats went missing. Yups, there were all over the place. They refused to stay close. But, there was one which my maid did not see before, during and after the incident. It was GREY. As my maid was telling me that Grey went missing, I couldn't stop thinking of the worse thing that could ever happened. I had skip my dinner as I just couldn't think of anything else but him. I tried to calm myself by saying, Grey was probably somewhere hiding. He must be very scared. He ain't that big nor that small. He's slightly bigger than Bubu - about 8 months. He had the cutest cat face I've ever seen - like a teddy bear. Grey fur, stripes and dark grey eyes. Everything about him was adorable. All of these came through my mind as I was anxiously waiting for my other half to call.

Once the python has been "rescued", my other half called and confirmed that the python had totally SWALLOWED Grey in. They could see the figure in the python's body. The moment I heard that, my heartbeat stopped for 3 seconds it seems. I didn't know what to think anymore. I cried immediately in the middle of Gurney Drive where the traffic was incredibly bad. Mum had running tears on her cheeks as well. We were both speechless.

There were too many things running in our minds as we were talking about it. My heart was crushed and in tears. Grey was probably helpless. Nobody was there to save him. Grey was one of the most playful cats I've ever had. He loved playing with anything that moves. He enjoyed having Bubu around as well. Knowing the fact that he's a joyful and a heartbreaker, now I kinda thought that he might have asked the python to "play" with him for a little bit. But, that was not a good idea afterall.

Now, Grey is gone. RIP my love. May you find your peace and happiness. Thank you for being the most joyful, incredible, adorable teddy-bear looking, active and good brother cat. We love you loads and you'll definitely be missed. We're all truly sorry that you had to go this way :(

And today, most of them are still in paranoia stage to go into the house. Beebo and Smokey were even checking out the spot where the python curled up the other day. They looked so not in the mood. They probably have witnessed the entire situation. They couldn't do anything. They were helpless. I wish someone was there to save Grey. I guess God loves him a lot more.

Though, I have to redha with whatever that has happened. 

There's nothing I can do about the past. All I can do now is to fix it.
We might be demolishing the house and rebuild another house for them at a different spot.
Chinese people tend to say,"It's suwey (bad luck)".

Subhanallah.
Alhamdulillah, Praise to God as others are still safe and alive.

RIP grey :(

God is fair

Since my semi-big day is approaching, there are things that come to me that kinda scare me for some reasons. Am I able to leave most of the things behind since there'll be another life ahead of me?

I am hoping that God hears me in every prayer I've had for Him. I really wish He does. He would guide me to the right path and give me a better life. I wanna be able to live with someone whom I truly love, till my last breath. Insyallah. I seek for His blessing on my marriage.

I learned a lot from the past. Life isn't about yourself alone. Life is beyond that. We can go around for weeks and months to be discussing and sharing about God. But, whether or not we have the faith within? Do we really believe that our lives are for Him, hereafter?

Being in America for awhile has taken me into another world which I never thought I'd be in. The concept of living life without God and The Doomsday is not going to be happening; is widely planted in their minds. How could they lead their lives that way?

Well, I have no rights to judge their choices. God has given all of us the opportunity and the wishful thinking to judge and choose. I do believe God has always a better plan for each and every of us - whether you like it or not.

I was in such an ignorant stage of life when I really thought that God is unfair. He picks and chooses those that He likes and award them with heaven on earth. As I was growing up, it makes even more sense to me that God put us on tests to value our patience, faith and responsibility as His man. He created us, so He definitely has a total right to command anything in relation to men.

I'm hoping to better myself as a Muslimah. Being someone's wife isn't about being pretty for the husband and serving good meals, but the responsibility is tremendously huge.
By His blessings, am hoping to go through life as someone's wife in full of imaan and taqwa. Am just a human being, I am lack in many aspects of life. Insyallah, as long as I am still keeping my imaan with me, I'll try to be a better Muslimah from time to time.

Cheers.

Day to Day

And so... the countdown begins since Saturday. I only have approximately about 25 days starting tomorrow.
It may seems like a long way to go.. but, I doubt it is. It'll be just a few nights away.

I am super nervous and keep having this butterflies in my tummy. It ain't good. But, this is the norm anyways. It ain't something abnormal for one to feel this way.

I figured, I have stepped into a different phase of life. Soon enough, I will be stepping into different phases of life - wedding ceremony, marriage, post marriage, family, kids. At times I think about it, the thoughts of all these can be fearful. I often ask myself whether or not am ready or otherwise. O well. I do not know whether or not am ready if I haven't started any bits of it. I got to try. I got to feel it. Otherwise, I won't be able to even realize that this means so much to me.

Getting married and to be able to have the wedding of the dream are the MASTER of all dreams for all girls in the world. Be it a fairytale wedding or even a simple one. It is just a day when nothing else beats the feeling of having your own wedding. Same goes to me. I always wanted to have the most beautiful and eventful wedding - since I thought getting married should be once in a lifetime.

I am counting the days to be someone's loyal, amazing, lovable, responsible and wonderful wife. I know I am capable of loving and sharing the rest of my life with him. He's the next best gift that God has ever given to me - after my parents and family. I am thankful enough for having him in my life. He completes me in many ways. Though there are hard times come between us, I believe that him and I will pull through.

Love means so much to me.
Love means nothing without appreciation and honesty.
Since I've got a long way to go with him.. I'm all down to fall in love with him more each day.

Now, the clock is ticking and hope everything goes as planned ;)

The Journey begins

I've been waiting for the day. I've been nervous and had no idea how's it going to be.

At times, I think I am ready for this. At times, I do feel doubts.

The decision to begin my journey with someone for the rest of my life ain't a piece of cake.

O well. I figured I am ready. I do not wanna lose the great thing I've gotten in my hands.

Good things come to those who wait and they don't come twice, for sure.

I've been wanting to have someone as a great partner in my life who loves me so much. I've gone through a lot in my previous relationships and all of them taught me so much about life. I haven't done learning though. Never will. Now I've been awarded someone really extraordinaire. Alhamdulillah. Can't ask for more. I don't really have to go on searching for someone to like me, to adore me, to love me. But, to have someone who can really accept me for who I am NOT what I have, it is almost impossible. Who does that still in the cruel world nowadays?

So I've found mine. Everything about him just completes me. He is almost perfect. Nothing can beat my love for him. I am so thankful to God for sending him to me.

I may not know where life in the future would bring us to... but, all I know is I'll be spending the rest of my life with him.

Today, Jan 7th is the moment when everything just excitedly begins. It's just simply memorable to begin our New Year.

I got really nervous this morning the moment I woke up. Never had that many butterflies in my stomach. It was not a fun feeling nor pleasant. But, I am way grateful that it went well.

Though it was not a big deal to some other people, but it is to me.

I'm just not the expert to be able to express how I feel about this.

However, I do know I have gotten myself to somewhere strange. Not everyone would go to this stage if they're simply not ready. They will need a powerful mind and a complete-solid-soul to begin with.

My life has changed since I met him. I learn a lot through this relationship. It feels different to being around him. Though, I did and will never take him for granted. I do not wanna hurt him in any ways. He's just meant to be for me. Never thought I'll end up with him. I will never forget the day when I first met him - KL PAC.

Here we are, our journey begins... today.

I love you with all my heart.

God has been waiting to give me YOU. He put me through hurts and hell just to get me to YOU.

Thank you sayang for a wonderful 1 year together.

I love you loads!

New chapter. New hopes.

The first post for the year of 2012 will be..
The recap of the eventful life I had back in 2011.

This may take sometime. The fact that I'll be absolutely tight up this week, it may slow down the process of me posting on more posts..

Can't wait to be able to share the recap.
BRB, guys :)