Bukan Cinta Biasa

Argument after argument we've been having lately. I wish none of these would come in between us. Some say, fights keep the love stronger. Some say, fights may lose the bond. I don't know. One thing I do know is, it hurts everytime we fight over something.

Sayang, you know I've always wanted to give you the best of everything. Anything you'd wish for. I've always wanted to be the best to you in many ways. I've always wanted to be the most amazing person you've ever been with.

It's just.. sometimes, you tend to forget.. you tend to overlook at things. You will only see them as my imperfections, my fault.. my misunderstanding. Did you ever really look at the situation deeply? Did you ever ask yourself why the situation gets to where it is right now? Have you looked at the situation beyond the line? 

I feel down tonight. So much more than you could imagine. I feel that I am not being appreciated, in certain ways. You probably aren't aware of it. But, it hurts. Real bad. 

Call me emotional. Call me a cry baby. Call me immature.

But, what we have right now is the ticket to ride our journey. We've decided to go on the journey together, 9 months ago. We both have agreed to live and die ; till death do us apart. We have decided to go through thick and thin together. Nothing can beat that, ever.

I've sacrificed so many things in my life so I can be with you. I never regret whatever I've decided - just to be with you. I'm glad that I met you. I'm so grateful to have you in my life. Losing you is the most horrible nightmare I could imagine. I rather die than not having you by my side. I don't think I can go on without you.

I'm begging you, please.

Try to understand why I am the way I am.

Why do I react the way I did..

I have so much love for you.

I have so much affection that I wanna share with you..

I have so much care just for you..

I do have anger. I do have hatred. I do have favor.

But, it doesn't mean I'm trying to change whatever you've been cherished in your life.

I'd just like to share the wonderful life with you.

I could never thank Allah swt enough for giving me, YOU.

You're amongst the greatest gift Allah swt has given me..and I can't afford to lose you, sayang.

I am deeply sorry as I've hurt you in many ways..

Believe me.. this is never the situation I'd want to come in between us..

Retarded species called "DESPERATE MARRIED WOMAN"

A retard

 So, basically.. her act of menggedik is still not done. She kept doing it over and over again.. as her pussy is so desperate of attention. Well,.. my deepest sympathy towards you. You had to dig in for attention from others. You're obviously sick yeah?!

I knew it from the start that you are sick.. you're suffering from loneliness, emptiness and lust. Ain't no one here to entertain your needs. Your life partner? Nah.. I passed. Sorry for him too ;)

Ain't nothing getting better but your sick-lonely-gedikness-mind ;)

Poor husband of yours. Never noticed how sick you are.

I wonder.

It feels kinda good to be back on Facebook. You know, seeing all those unnecessary drama through statuses and what not. Well.. it has been a routine to most of my colleagues too - being on FB when we get to work in the morning.

No harm, I guess. But, I do feel that FB has becoming such lifestyle to the modern world.
As modern and updated as it may be, it could really damage the intangible items, relationship to begin with.

For some reason, people have been openly expressive through the media. Well, it ain't because they're not open in saying/telling it in person. In a way, it gives such satisfaction to be able to say whatever they wish, online. "Freedom of Speech" which is rarely being practised in Malaysia. However, people tend to express themselves better through these new media wave ; Facebook, Twitter,..

I see dramas everyday on Facebook. Some of them give me good life lessons, but most of them give me crap to begin with. O well. People love sensational stories, gossips, tragedy and even crappy news. Some take it as the intelectual inputs, but some might be taking it as news-to-enjoy-today.

Sometimes, I do wonder. How are these social media could actually place us at a wrong spot,lead us to complications, get us addicted to it and so on. I begin to realize the aftermath of social networking media could really place an impact in one's life. This is beyond our expectations.

As for me, I do enjoy having Facebook as part of my daily routine check-list. It's inviting, it's entertaining and sometimes, can be mean too :) I'm lucky enough to be able to find out about some hidden agendas that I'm unable to find it myself elsewhere. It's either planned or just plainly coincidence.

Yups. Just sharing but not directing this to anywhere, anyone.
I'd like to end this piece with a phrase,"You do what you do. I'd do what I would. Nothing else I can say but a genuine sorry for you..."


AA

It does hurt

I've been missing you, I won't lie.
It gives me so much pain thinking of the situation we're in.
Please get me out of this. I am just worn out by the game.
Don't make me give up cuz I know I could.

I do miss you a lot. You have no idea.
I wanna call and tell you how much I do love you.
I just can't. I break down and cry when I see your name up on the text messages.

Trust me. This tragedy is hurting me.
Don't leave me out, dying..

Read my heart

I have loved you since the day you told me how much I mean to you.

I have learned to love you better, every single day.

I honestly feel the need to loving you more.

I appreciate the fact that you have been giving the love, the care, the honesty that I never thought I'd get from you. 

No.. don't stop. I need you to keep on loving me, keep on caring about me.. and keep being honest towards me.

Sometimes, I really wish you understand my way of perceiving things. The way I look at certain things.

I really hope I could make you understand that I don't fancy certain things you do. It's not simply because I'm trying to change the way you are. I was only trying to meet half way so we both could gain happiness.

Sayang, you know I'd never do anything to hurt you in any ways.

I am happy to see you happy. You have no idea how proud I am of myself when you told me that I'm the one who makes you smile again, after the years.

I wanna make you happy. I wanna give you a better life.

I wanna live my life with you, forever.

I never felt this way about someone I love. You make my world, a better place to live in.

I'm hoping and praying there'll be no one will ever take you away from me.

I never wanted you to look away from me. I wish you could read my heart whenever it hurts, whenever it feels amazing,.. or even whenever it cries.

At times you just don't understand the way I really hate on something. 

I tried being relevant and embrace the fact that it could be something that makes you happy but not to me.

I had to just close my eyes and shut my heart to the pain, though it hurts.. just to see you happy.

But, is it fair?

Is it fair enough to me?

I tried putting the smile on your face but.. getting myself a land of pain.

How is that fair? 

As long as I could still hold on to it, I will.

But.. I have no idea how long I am able to hold on.

Again, all I care about is your happiness. If you ain't happy, I will not be too.

I have so much love for you..

I do not wanna waste it on thinking of my hatred towards someone else who's not even important in my life. You are, the most important person in my life (after my parents and brother).

Please, .. swim deeper into my heart..

You'll see how much it has hurt me inside..

Don't let me go out of breath..

Hello disturbance.

I always remind myself that I wasn't born perfect. Hence, I have no right to see others through imperfection. As I myself ain't close to perfection. But, I always wanna be the best and the perfect one for myself, family and those who care about me.

There's a say,"You can't please everyone...".

True enough. I am unable to please everyone. Whether or not with my attitude, my thoughts, my body language or even my say. Who am I to be able to please everyone?

I ain't God. I wasn't born to give perfections to others.

I tried being pleasant to almost every person in my surrounding.

I tried. I think I have tried my best.

And I tried not to be rude to others, unless, the situation forces me to.

I think I have been rude to many people in my life. I had to.

Sometimes, they don't understand what it's like being me.

Sometimes, they just hurt me (intentionally).

I have hold on for a while now.

I was hoping that things were going to be better.

Things were better for the moment. I thought it would last a little longer.

I do not wish to be hurt over and over again. I don't think I have "tickled" you in any ways.

So.. what are you doing this for?

I have never thought in being your way.. at all.

Now, I think I had to.

Mum and Dad never taught me to be someone useless and rude to others.

But, I learned throughout my yesteryears, in standing tough to be myself.

It's hard.

Who are you to be in my way? You ain't that great. You ain't that interesting.

You are just an attention seeker who has no sense of life, no sense of sensitivity, no sense of courtesy.

I may not know you well. But, I know your type.

Immature, attention seeker, troublemaker, insensitive, spoilt, bitch-ness, irrelevant, irresponsible,

dumb, home-wrecker, ... those traits that you have just get me to feel truly sorry for you.

Yes, again.. I ain't perfect. But, at least, I never have and never will get into someone else's love life.

You and your loneliness.

You and your "Look-at-me.I-need-the-attention.."

You and your dumbness.

You and your ego.

You and your ugly traits.

It's just.. all about you just makes me sick.

You get me to puke my positive vibes that I tried to feel from you..

You really get me to see you in many ugly ways..

I am sorry.

That's just who you are.

Why do you need so much attention for?

You must be sick. You must be very very sick.

You tried so hard in being beautiful.

You are just not.

Beauty comes from within, not from your cleavage.

Beauty comes from the pleasant body language, not from being free on every male's shoulders or laps.

Beauty comes from the heart who always get connection to Allah SWT.

To you, I have and will always pray for you to be at a better place.

Nothing else I'd say but sorry for you.

You were just born to be mentally sick. Your soul is plain disturbed.

You.. should, return to where you came from.. - nowhere.

You deserve to be nowhere.. where no souls are alive, no body is well.

Good luck to you, bitch!

May you rest in peace.

D-Day

Hokayyy... I know I know.. It's been more than a month since I last visited my blog. Well, if any of you have read the last post, yeps, I was extremely nervous counting on the days to the D-Day - engagement.

The preparations, energy, effort, thoughts, time and money - you have no idea what my family, fiance and myself have gone through. Yeah.. it was the pre-wedding.. but, the process wasn't just a piece of cake.

Well, I am very much grateful to have a very supportive mother, fiance and best friends who have helped me a lot throughout the process. Alhamdulillah. I laughed, joked, drown in tears in between of the journey. God knows why. Now I know how it feels, preparing for my own big day. I thought it's all about being beautiful, taking pictures and having fun all the way. It was beyond the idea.

Alhamdulillah... the ceremony went well. As the event began at 11am, I began my make-up as early as 8.45am. I didn't really get a beauty sleep a night before as I only dozed off by 3am. Gotten about 4 hours of sleep. The anxiety just kept pushing it.

Got up at 7ish as my make-up artiste was on her way.. yeah, that early. She was afraid if she couldn't find her way. She got here by 7.30am and was served with an early brekkie. Then, we began the make-me-look-gorgeous process.

I got a beep text - saying he was on his way. I got friggin' nervous as if my heartbeat went on silent. Nak terberak pon ade. 15 minutes later, another text beeping on my cell says "We've arrived..". I immediately gotten a cold sweat through my palms. My goodness. I had no idea what to tell ya.. I couldn't speak a word.. I couldn't wet my lips with my tongue and..even worse, I couldn't even taste my own saliva.

Immediately, my make-up artiste had placed a very beautiful veil on the edge of my hair bun. I was almost ready to go. I never thought I'd be in that dress.. on my birthday. 

..My sister in law came up and called me to get ready. My bestfriends and I managed to grab some shots minutes before I went down. It killed my nervousness - a lil bit. The moment I had to walk down the stairs, I have thought about how graceful I should be in this dress and did not ever wanna kill it. I walked down gracefully and 'tried' my hardest to stay gorgeous though I was on a battle with my nervousness. 

The moment I stepped down the last step, the space went silent. I could feel the pressure attacking me - as everyone in the space was looking right at me. Ya ya ya.. I know how gorgeous I am.. so chill! LOL.

But yeah.. I had to walk pass everyone. The moment I reached my mini dais, I didn't know what to do. I had no idea how to sit on it with my long-ass dress. My SIL helped me a lil by holding my hand bouquet and placing my dress tail appropriately. GAWD, I was at the center of the attention. I hated it. 

The ceremony got even more excited as I was finally seated. My future MIL walked towards the dais and seated next to me to place the ring on my finger. Hamaigad... I was like... I am now TAKEN???? Like seriously dude??? No more looking? No more flirting..?? Hell yeah no more all that...

Anyways, once the ring got onto my finger, it gave me a lil sugar rush. I got very excited. Later after that, I had the salam session with all the guests, mostly my cousins, my future cousins and friends. 

Then, I saw my boyfriend right in front of the hall.. *clearing throat*.. nooo, my fiance now... *phew*. It just felt so different. I look at him in a different way now. I've got much respect, love, responsibility and passion towards him - way much more than before. I don't know. It came naturally. I just feel secured and appreciated though.

So, the ceremony ended with photo opps mostly. We had our own photos session for the album. It was a hell of fun. Can't wait till the full album is completed.

Above all of this, I must admit that, getting engaged was one of the biggest steps in my life that I've ever decided on. If I ain't sure about it, I won't be here tonight writing this blog, expressing and sharing. But, come to think about it again... I can't believe that I am someone's fiancee now. It happened so quickly. Yeps, this is it. It's him. It's him whom I'm gonna marry and live with for the rest of my life - Insyallah. Till death do us apart.

I'm glad I have finally found the ONE who truly be able to love, accept, appreciate, understand and embrace me. It ain't that piece of cake to find the one who can be with you the way you do. I've gone through many unsuccessful relationships and I am grateful to experience all of that craps before I met the ONE. It made me who I am the way I am today. I see myself being with no one else but him. My fear is not about loving him less, my fear is not being able to live with him long enough to prove how much love I have for him.

Dear sayang, thank you for taking me this far. I am willing to walk this journey with you, till death do us part. I hope I will be able to be an amazing-responsible-loving wife and mother to you and our kids. Guide, hold and love me till the end, sayang. I wanna fall in love with you everyday. I love you with all my heart, sincerely.

To you, who have captured my heart well, you've made me the luckiest woman on earth. 

My love for you reaches no end but definitely..infinity.

Four

Am counting on the days till Saturday, Feb 4th. It is not going to be only my birthday but it'll be the day that I'll remember. It'll be a brand new experience and challenge. It will be a lot of fun it seems.

Can't wait till Saturday. However, I've been experiencing anxiety issues, lately. Probably because it won't be something that I get to experience/go through everyday.

In 4 days, things will be magnificent! Hopefully, everything will turn out to be as what I've imagined!
Very excited to see most of my beloved friends on that day!

Till then, see you guys!

It's a choice

I did not get a chance to update my blog for a week or so since the last time I wrote. I have been swamped with work and daily routines. Things are pretty in places at the moment, I must admit. Thank you Allah SWT for His blessing in ensuring everything is going smoothly.

I got to grab some stuffs here and there to complete the important list. Yups. I figured, they're almost complete. Just waiting for the entire reservation to be delivered :)

At times, it annoys the hell outta me to be able to think of every tiny lil things in finding/deciding on things e.g theme, flowers, decorations, even the color of the carpet. Now I know why do people tend to say, "Very exciting but... tiring as hell. You'll get massive headache too!" - something like that.

I've been having fun in preparing my own ceremony. It's just, I learn throughout the process. I get upset easily lately. I have no idea how did I develop the trait. It's not positive I must say. Getting others involved in deciding things for the e-day does welcome emotional disturbance.

I am going with the flow as the days go by. I am very excited but... definitely nervous at the same time. I see things in my head clearly how's the day going to be. I'm hoping for the day to turn out way better than I have imagined. People tend to say, "This will happen, once. It's a choice".

Can't wait. I'll write again soon.
Sharing is a priceless action.

One of the inevitable wishes ;)

The Knot

Nothing major but just feel like sharing the incredible news. This happened almost 2 weeks ago. I should've updated this together with "The Unthinkable Tragedy" post but... it took me 2 weeks (today) to get myself back on track with my blog :)

So, all of us (cousins) used to play around with him since we were all about the same age. We grew up together pretty close since we had not many younger cousins.
Now, Syukur is someone's husband and definitely holding up to huge responsibilities. We are all going to go through the same thing. Unless, if you are to declare yourself as a lesbian or gay. Your call :)

We enjoyed the wedding pretty much though the atmosphere was very hectic and congested with the guests. I managed to grab some good shots - just playing with the button :)

Wishing all the happiness in the world for the both of you.
I'll be joining the club soon, guys! :)

The Unthinkable Tragedy

Saturday January 14, 2012 - My family and I drove back to Penang for a wedding. We were all excited to make it to the wedding, knowing that almost every cousin will be there. My uncle from Kemaman has been at my house since Thursday - heading to Penang together.

To begin the story, we left the house at 6.45am on Saturday. The morning was still early to me - to begin driving *yawn*. The traffic was alright since it was an ordinary weekend for most of the people. I doubt people have started their CNY journey.

We got to Penang at 11.30am after a couple of breaks in between the journey. We stopped by twice at R & R for snacks and gas. We got to change before heading to the wedding by noon. The wedding was incredibly fun despite the hall was frigging "boiling" our asses off. O well. We took photos with cousins, bride and groom. Everyone had fun. The food was delicious too.

We left at almost 3ish. We got home to where we stayed for the weekend. Our plan was to head to the Gurney Drive at night. Mum, brother, sis-in-law, aunt and myself went to Tesco for a lil bit to grab some stuff. On a little note, Mum did mention that she left her cell at home.

We got back from Tesco and dad was saying that my maid has been calling mum's cell for 4 times. Since mum was unreachable, maid had to call my other aunt.

My aunt was in shock, telling us the news that came to her. Maid was in panic.

Mum was talking to our maid. Asking every details. I had goosebumps whilst mum talking to her. I imagined the most terrible incident that could happen.

My heartbeat was running faster. I could feel the choke somewhere near my throat.

According to my maid, most of my cats refused to "dine-in" that late afternoon. She wonder, really. None of them approached the house as usual. Later after that, my maid had to force three of them to go in by getting each of them accordingly. She then locked the door as usual. With a huge curiosity and suspense, she took a sit somewhere near the cats' house to see if more of them coming back. All of them remain away from the house. My maid got curious even more.

The next door neighbor maid, Tik, came to help, see what went wrong. They both were checking out the house all around it. My maid then saw one of my cats, Cheesy, went up to the small cage inside the house. Cheesy was looking up curiously and positively looking very fearful. Both maids then went around to the other corner and discovered a Python in there. In other name, it's called Python neticulatus @ Ular Sawa Batik. They both were screaming and got even more panic. My maid went to ask for an urgent help from the security at the guard house in my neighborhood.


As we were all on our way to dinner, I gave my other half a call, informing him what happened. He then rushed to my house. He kept me posted on every single details. An hour later, the guys from Jabatan Perhilitan came to "rescue" the python. It was actually curling up at one corner, high up, looking super lazy. My maid did not realize that it has been there probably since noon on Saturday. At that very moment, she then realized the MAIN reason why most of my cats did not wanna go in. THAT'S WHY!

Mum did ask if there's any of my cats went missing. Yups, there were all over the place. They refused to stay close. But, there was one which my maid did not see before, during and after the incident. It was GREY. As my maid was telling me that Grey went missing, I couldn't stop thinking of the worse thing that could ever happened. I had skip my dinner as I just couldn't think of anything else but him. I tried to calm myself by saying, Grey was probably somewhere hiding. He must be very scared. He ain't that big nor that small. He's slightly bigger than Bubu - about 8 months. He had the cutest cat face I've ever seen - like a teddy bear. Grey fur, stripes and dark grey eyes. Everything about him was adorable. All of these came through my mind as I was anxiously waiting for my other half to call.

Once the python has been "rescued", my other half called and confirmed that the python had totally SWALLOWED Grey in. They could see the figure in the python's body. The moment I heard that, my heartbeat stopped for 3 seconds it seems. I didn't know what to think anymore. I cried immediately in the middle of Gurney Drive where the traffic was incredibly bad. Mum had running tears on her cheeks as well. We were both speechless.

There were too many things running in our minds as we were talking about it. My heart was crushed and in tears. Grey was probably helpless. Nobody was there to save him. Grey was one of the most playful cats I've ever had. He loved playing with anything that moves. He enjoyed having Bubu around as well. Knowing the fact that he's a joyful and a heartbreaker, now I kinda thought that he might have asked the python to "play" with him for a little bit. But, that was not a good idea afterall.

Now, Grey is gone. RIP my love. May you find your peace and happiness. Thank you for being the most joyful, incredible, adorable teddy-bear looking, active and good brother cat. We love you loads and you'll definitely be missed. We're all truly sorry that you had to go this way :(

And today, most of them are still in paranoia stage to go into the house. Beebo and Smokey were even checking out the spot where the python curled up the other day. They looked so not in the mood. They probably have witnessed the entire situation. They couldn't do anything. They were helpless. I wish someone was there to save Grey. I guess God loves him a lot more.

Though, I have to redha with whatever that has happened. 

There's nothing I can do about the past. All I can do now is to fix it.
We might be demolishing the house and rebuild another house for them at a different spot.
Chinese people tend to say,"It's suwey (bad luck)".

Subhanallah.
Alhamdulillah, Praise to God as others are still safe and alive.

RIP grey :(

God is fair

Since my semi-big day is approaching, there are things that come to me that kinda scare me for some reasons. Am I able to leave most of the things behind since there'll be another life ahead of me?

I am hoping that God hears me in every prayer I've had for Him. I really wish He does. He would guide me to the right path and give me a better life. I wanna be able to live with someone whom I truly love, till my last breath. Insyallah. I seek for His blessing on my marriage.

I learned a lot from the past. Life isn't about yourself alone. Life is beyond that. We can go around for weeks and months to be discussing and sharing about God. But, whether or not we have the faith within? Do we really believe that our lives are for Him, hereafter?

Being in America for awhile has taken me into another world which I never thought I'd be in. The concept of living life without God and The Doomsday is not going to be happening; is widely planted in their minds. How could they lead their lives that way?

Well, I have no rights to judge their choices. God has given all of us the opportunity and the wishful thinking to judge and choose. I do believe God has always a better plan for each and every of us - whether you like it or not.

I was in such an ignorant stage of life when I really thought that God is unfair. He picks and chooses those that He likes and award them with heaven on earth. As I was growing up, it makes even more sense to me that God put us on tests to value our patience, faith and responsibility as His man. He created us, so He definitely has a total right to command anything in relation to men.

I'm hoping to better myself as a Muslimah. Being someone's wife isn't about being pretty for the husband and serving good meals, but the responsibility is tremendously huge.
By His blessings, am hoping to go through life as someone's wife in full of imaan and taqwa. Am just a human being, I am lack in many aspects of life. Insyallah, as long as I am still keeping my imaan with me, I'll try to be a better Muslimah from time to time.

Cheers.

Day to Day

And so... the countdown begins since Saturday. I only have approximately about 25 days starting tomorrow.
It may seems like a long way to go.. but, I doubt it is. It'll be just a few nights away.

I am super nervous and keep having this butterflies in my tummy. It ain't good. But, this is the norm anyways. It ain't something abnormal for one to feel this way.

I figured, I have stepped into a different phase of life. Soon enough, I will be stepping into different phases of life - wedding ceremony, marriage, post marriage, family, kids. At times I think about it, the thoughts of all these can be fearful. I often ask myself whether or not am ready or otherwise. O well. I do not know whether or not am ready if I haven't started any bits of it. I got to try. I got to feel it. Otherwise, I won't be able to even realize that this means so much to me.

Getting married and to be able to have the wedding of the dream are the MASTER of all dreams for all girls in the world. Be it a fairytale wedding or even a simple one. It is just a day when nothing else beats the feeling of having your own wedding. Same goes to me. I always wanted to have the most beautiful and eventful wedding - since I thought getting married should be once in a lifetime.

I am counting the days to be someone's loyal, amazing, lovable, responsible and wonderful wife. I know I am capable of loving and sharing the rest of my life with him. He's the next best gift that God has ever given to me - after my parents and family. I am thankful enough for having him in my life. He completes me in many ways. Though there are hard times come between us, I believe that him and I will pull through.

Love means so much to me.
Love means nothing without appreciation and honesty.
Since I've got a long way to go with him.. I'm all down to fall in love with him more each day.

Now, the clock is ticking and hope everything goes as planned ;)

The Journey begins

I've been waiting for the day. I've been nervous and had no idea how's it going to be.

At times, I think I am ready for this. At times, I do feel doubts.

The decision to begin my journey with someone for the rest of my life ain't a piece of cake.

O well. I figured I am ready. I do not wanna lose the great thing I've gotten in my hands.

Good things come to those who wait and they don't come twice, for sure.

I've been wanting to have someone as a great partner in my life who loves me so much. I've gone through a lot in my previous relationships and all of them taught me so much about life. I haven't done learning though. Never will. Now I've been awarded someone really extraordinaire. Alhamdulillah. Can't ask for more. I don't really have to go on searching for someone to like me, to adore me, to love me. But, to have someone who can really accept me for who I am NOT what I have, it is almost impossible. Who does that still in the cruel world nowadays?

So I've found mine. Everything about him just completes me. He is almost perfect. Nothing can beat my love for him. I am so thankful to God for sending him to me.

I may not know where life in the future would bring us to... but, all I know is I'll be spending the rest of my life with him.

Today, Jan 7th is the moment when everything just excitedly begins. It's just simply memorable to begin our New Year.

I got really nervous this morning the moment I woke up. Never had that many butterflies in my stomach. It was not a fun feeling nor pleasant. But, I am way grateful that it went well.

Though it was not a big deal to some other people, but it is to me.

I'm just not the expert to be able to express how I feel about this.

However, I do know I have gotten myself to somewhere strange. Not everyone would go to this stage if they're simply not ready. They will need a powerful mind and a complete-solid-soul to begin with.

My life has changed since I met him. I learn a lot through this relationship. It feels different to being around him. Though, I did and will never take him for granted. I do not wanna hurt him in any ways. He's just meant to be for me. Never thought I'll end up with him. I will never forget the day when I first met him - KL PAC.

Here we are, our journey begins... today.

I love you with all my heart.

God has been waiting to give me YOU. He put me through hurts and hell just to get me to YOU.

Thank you sayang for a wonderful 1 year together.

I love you loads!

New chapter. New hopes.

The first post for the year of 2012 will be..
The recap of the eventful life I had back in 2011.

This may take sometime. The fact that I'll be absolutely tight up this week, it may slow down the process of me posting on more posts..

Can't wait to be able to share the recap.
BRB, guys :)

The Call.

Every new year, I always look forward to the month of February. It is simply because I was born in February and just so happens that Mum's birthday is in February as well - so I take it as a special month of all the months in the year.

It has been my dream to have something big happens on my birthday. Be it my graduation, the first day at work, engagement or even wedding. It just feels special and extraordinary you know.

Some people may take it as an ordinary day. What's so special about someone birthday anyways? I don't know.. cuz to me, my family practices celebrating birthday every year. It is such an acknowledgment and appreciation. The practice just gets the bond stronger. Oh, I love my family so much! :)

And.. February 2012 will be another year older for me. Wiser too, I hope. 

Looking forward to having an amazing February 2012.

Insyallah, everything will fall into places. 

 

Dan kahwinkanlah orang-orang bujang (lelaki dan perempuan) dari kalangan kamu, dan orang-orang yang soleh dari hamba-hamba kamu, lelaki dan perempuan. Jika mereka miskin, Allah akan memberikan kekayaan kepada mereka dari limpah kurniaNya kerana Allah Maha Luas (rahmatNya dan limpah kurniaNya), lagi Maha Mengetahui. (An-Nuur 24:32)

Love. 

Some little things.

So, I was driving home yesterday from a long day ; recce, meeting and so on. I got stuck in a pretty heavy traffic, really feeling blah.
I just thought of calling the other half, just to see what was he up to?! Yeah, he was at work and telling me how much work he's got to do...

You know, some little things can really make someone simply flattered. It doesn't have to be a huge surprise at the most expensive fine-dining restaurant in town or buying a few grant worth of diamonds.

I always wanted to be the one who's comforting him - all the time. Through thick and thin. I just love it so much when he comes to me for any little things he'd tell... just like... "Hey, am off to grab a coffee for a lil bit.. will call you when I get there..".

It just feels great, you know. I never asked for it.
But, am glad he wanted me to know whatever he's up to.

It wasn't big of a deal to make someone whom I truly love happy and at ease.
I do know, it wasn't enough to just tell him how much I love him.
Anyhow, I've made that little something yesterday.. I hope I did put him at ease.

*If you ever come across this, I want you to know that my love and care for you are undefined. I'm trying my best to be the most amazing to you :)


I love you.

The Face of Those Books

I began having the social networking websites back in 2006. It was the phenomena which was amazingly huge for the teenagers. I've started with Friendster, which was the most basic social website for teenagers to socialize. I found my former schoolmates, new online friends and also cousins.

The most exciting part is when you get to see others' photos. Be it at the events ; wedding, birthday, outing. I went through such action to post my photos as well. Bla bla bla... it got even more exciting when others' had to leave comments on each photo I posted. Feedback is fun!

Friendster got boring.. and I have switched to Myspace. It was more intriguing as compared to Friendster. I could do a lot of things with it. In short, Myspace was way fun. Years went by and.. now.. we've got Facebook *thumb thumb thumb*

I refused to set up another social networking account *sigh*. I was forced to have a Facebook account by my ex-roomate, Shelby - the New Jersey girl. Well, I barely had any info on my page for the first few months. It has developed 5 months after as far as I remember.

I've had Facebook since 2007. It has been 4 years at least.
I've gone through experience and tragedy with Facebook. There are good ones and bad. Since then, I realized how Facebook could either change your life positively or literally fuck you in the face.
I do not wish to share every details of whatever that happened.

Something just hit me in mind saying to just live life without Facebook for a lil while.
It was kinda hard to wake up in the morning and not checking on Facebook.
It has becoming a routine to me every morning and night. In other word, Facebook has affected my life in many ways.

Yups, I am now living life without Facebook for 2 days now.
I wish to continue this till further notice. I ain't sure how long this is going to last.
We'll see.

I honestly feel that Facebook can really drag you into a fucked up life situation like what I had days ago. It wasn't a piece of cake. The bright side is when you tend to acknowledge things that you won't know in your plate at every moment. It shows up on the "News Feed" on your wall and everything reveals. Whether or not it hurts me in some ways.. I just feel the need to shut my Facebook down for lil while. It won't bite anyways!

So much of Facebook has affected my life so badly.
Living without it, hoping to get my clarity soon enough.

Love.

Something to begin with..

I wonder how did I get into the idea of writing, lately. Seeing my dad facing the computer every day and night, writing.. just caught my attention.

I've stopped writing for about a year since I graduated from the university. I used to write a lot when I was in America. Well, writing the academic papers wasn't as fun as blogging. I wasn't able to curse or use any overly-abused bombastic words. Na'ah.

So, here I am tonight, writing this brief blog to begin my own blog page titled "MyBlindSpot".

Look forward to writing more post!